


When One Part Is Really Confusing

by maybetomorrow



Series: Avoiding Inevitabilities [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A little less hurt a little more comfort, Angst and a Half, Canon Divergent as of (most of) 2x11, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, I cannot do action scenes - sorry, The Super Squad, drunk!Kara, heart to heart, in Kara's apartment, lost space puppies, post 2x10, sorry I'm sappy and emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybetomorrow/pseuds/maybetomorrow
Summary: Instead of dealing with her growing feelings (and subsequent heartache) head on, Kara has been avoiding her problem however she can.  Which doesn't go well when the only place she can get drunk is the place where her problem happens to work.Post 2x11, set a couple weeks later.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This past episode left me such an emotional wreck that I stayed up through the night writing on Monday. I probably churned out about 5 stories, but this was all I could bring myself to finish before Monday's episode.  
> Sorry in advance for the sad. I love Angst!Karamel more than anything, but right now they're just sad and I'm sad. So here's some of my sad.
> 
> Title is from Alex's prime commentary in 2x11:  
> "Sometimes in our life, when one part is really confusing, we will pour way more attention than is necessary into another."

When Mon-el said it was time to move on, Kara thought it would have been more of the way it was when he had first arrived, flirting with nearly every woman he met, no solid boundaries, perhaps a few Tinder dates or something, and definitely plenty of alcohol.

She hadn’t expected him to willingly throw himself into a serious relationship with Eve of all people. Which was infuriating. Because Eve was really nice. Like _disgustingly_ nice, and polite, and reserved, and she probably _never_ got mad at him, because she looked so damn happy every time he came to pick her up for lunch. Which was often. 

She could see them from her side of the office, leaving everyday. She could hear them talking and they were so normal together it made her angry.And a little sad.It usually left her so tangled up that the rest of her day was horribly unproductive. 

She stopped trying to accidentally run into him. She walked the other way when she caught a hint of his voice. She only went to the bar at lunch time, when she knew he was with Eve. She did her best to avoid him, and the worst part was, he didn’t seem to notice. He seemed happy without her and that was painful. 

Sickening. 

Depressing. 

It was also fair. 

Because he should be able to have this. He was trying to move on. And he was trying to be good. And it wasn’t his fault that she was upset because — She. Didn't. Want. Him. She’d made that clear enough. She’d pushed him away. 

He’d just given her space. That was all. 

Of course, he didn’t know how much it hurt, seeing him with Eve. Knowing that she wasn’t the most important girl in his life. 

That she wasn’t even _in_ his life. 

That thought led her to the bar after work. And she probably should have considered her timing more carefully, because him working did not cross her mind. No.She was too busy thinking about not being around him that she put herself directly in his path. 

She was several shots into something really strong when she stopped counting to herself. And she was a few shots further when a voice knocked her out of the daze she’d slipped into. 

“Kara?” She looked up to see Mon-el, towel over his shoulder, looking at her. Nothing in his eyes. Not even a trace of expression on his face. It stung. 

She tried to break out of the shock of seeing him because, of course, he was here.Of course. 

“Oh. You. Where’d—”She hesitated.There had been the nicest bartender — what's her name — standing in front of her just moments ago, listening to Kara talk about her problems and Kara was going to tell her another _very_ important story.But somewhere between the last shot and the last story, she’d slipped away.And — oh, Rao, how long had she been talking to herself?

“Her shift is over. I'm just checking that you’re okay.”  He looked uncertain and so uncomfortable.Like he was walking on eggshells.She hated seeing him like that.

“I needa nuther round,” she forced out, trying not to slur enough to completely embarrass herself. 

“No, I think you’ve had enough tonight.”He almost sounded angry, but she couldn’t be sure.Her ears were still buzzing from the music and the drinks.

“Mon-ellllll,” she whined, “please just one more.”

“Not happening.”

“What happened to fuuuun Mon-el? I miss him.”She tried to spin on the stool, but it wasn’t a spinny kind, and she nearly fell, almost cracking the countertop in her attempt to stay upright.She let out a soft laugh when she righted herself.

“Oh yeah. You’re done.”Just like he was, with her.She tried to bite that thought back, but it wasn’t working.

She muttered a curse under her breath when he took away her glass and held it out of her reach. She tried to grab it, only for a second.She nearly fell off her stool again, let out a snort and settled herself back as gracefully as she could.That is, she crumpled into her seat and slumped over onto the counter.

When she looked up, he was still watching her carefully.

“I do. Miss you. I mean, we don’t even work together anymore.”

“I’m not the one who stopped showing up for training, Kara.” 

His tone sent chills running through her.And she wanted to take off running too. 

That’s right. She had done that, hadn’t she? She was hardly at the DEO anymore unless they called her in, scared she’d run into him or something. Instead, she just focused on CatCo, all the time. She lived, breathed, and ate journalism. She had let it consume everything.  And what did she have to show for it?Snapper still didn't treat her like a real reporter.She’d hardly seen any of her friends, and she was fighting with most of them.She’d shut herself off and it wasn’t doing any good.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Forget it, Kara.”

“No really.  I shouldn’t—”

“Kara, please don't.”

She quieted as he handed her a club soda.  The drink seemed less appealing, now that it was apparently all he ever drank.Which made her think of him every time she had one.And of them sitting on her couch when things were still easy between them.Now — now she was feeling betwixt and between all over again.

“You stay here okay?  I’m going to get you a ride home.” 

But she didn’t want to go home. Not really. Not yet. She wanted to apologize. She wanted him to smile. Or laugh. Or yell, even. Something other than this complete cold front. But instead, he wanted her to leave. 

“No, I’ll walk. I’m not that far.”

“You aren’t walking home alone like that.” 

He gave her a look she couldn't read, and she was about to start a fight with him and remind him that she was Supergirl, and she could take care of herself.But she didn’t want to fight, so she just shut her mouth and accepted it.At least he cared enough to make sure she was safe.She wouldn’t fault him for it.So instead, she decided to listen to him.

“Please don’t call Alex.”It was all she could bring herself to say.

Mon-el sighed in frustration. It didn't make her feel any better than the empty glances had. He set a tall glass of water in front of her. 

“Drink this and wait. Let me finish up my shift and I’ll get you home.”

And then he was moving around, chatting with regulars, smiling brightly in every direction but hers. She didn’t like it. 

And what was worse was that she couldn’t stop thinking about the last time she been at this bar watching him. How he smiled and laughed with everyone else, but he looked like he was in pain when she talked to him. And how that was entirely her fault, sticking her foot in her mouth again and again.

Or the last time he was in her apartment. She tried not to think about comets, but she did anyway, and maybe she teared up a bit because she’d really screwed things up for herself. So she nursed her water somewhere between drunk and really hungover until he came back to her. 

He walked her home, and he didn’t speak a word to her on the way. She didn’t say anything either, worried she’d start crying or something equally ridiculous.When they reached her front door, he was already backing away from her.But she didn’t want him to go.Not when she was brave enough to talk.

“Would you like to come in? I was hoping we could talk.”

“I really don’t think that’'s a good idea, Kara.”

_Of course not_ , she thought. 

“Oh. Yeah. That's fine.” She forced a smile, but she could already feel her expression betraying her.She hoped he didn’t notice a crinkle. She knew he probably did, with they way he’d been watching her carefully, like she was going to explode. “I’ll see you around—”

It was more of a question than a statement because she hadn’t seen him, at least on purpose, in a while. He didn’t answer, but he gave her a sad smile before walking away. 

She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'll write another chapter and get some happy to this ending, but I've got a couple ideas. Let me know what you think and I'll love you forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Valentine's Day, y'all.
> 
> Here's a little less hurt and a little more comfort.

They still weren’t normal by any stretch of the imagination.That would be more than anyone could logically hope for. 

But Kara had stopped actively avoiding Mon-el.And in doing so she started to notice him _maybe_ avoiding _her_.Maybe.He stopped coming up the elevator to take Eve to lunch.They still went — she knew that.But she never saw him in the office anymore.Which was a blessing in disguise, considering how Snapper was starting to _maybe_ warm up to her.So not seeing him with Eve was probably for the best, considering she was actually able to focus when she didn’t.

She met up with Alex and Maggie at the bar almost every night since their non-talk and her very embarrassing display.She wasn’t trying it again.Instead, she just played third-wheel to her sister and kept her distance.Sometimes she would catch his eye across the room when he was talking to a regular.When she did, she usually gave him a little smile to let him know that they were okay. (She wasn’t sure if they _really_ were, but maybe if they convinced themselves, they would be.)And that was the extent of how they were together now.Just okay.Not good.Not great.Just okay.It was a start.

Life as Supergirl was becoming more manageable.She only got called in a couple times a week now, as opposed to the crisis-a-day DEO operations she had grown used to.It worked well in letting her avoid her problems and focus on being the kind of reporter she had long dreamed of being.It didn’t help her mending her whatever-it-was with Mon-el.She’d thought about showing up and training him again, but she wasn’t sure it was what he wanted anymore.The whole superhero thing.She’d pushed him into it and been unfair, and it was the reason for most of their fights lately.She _really_ didn’t want to fight with him anymore.

***

It had been well over a month since Livewire’s escape, and the mad scientist was behind bars awaiting trial.And honestly, Kara should have been surprised that Leslie waited _this_ long, but she wasted no time once he was actually in jail.Like she had promised.

She was back to wreaking havoc in no time. And she was careful about it, too.A well timed pop-up attack and then she was gone before the DEO could even alert her to the problem.Winn had been working tirelessly trying to find a faster way to track her, but it wasn’t as easy as they had hoped.Livewire clearly wasn’t look to get caught anytime soon.Not that catching her would be any easier than finding her.

That was until she tripped the circuits and caused a momentary blackout the size of four city blocks.Within an hour, they’d narrowed her hideout to one _very_ cliche abandoned warehouse and they’d made as much of a plan as they could.So Kara set off to face her nemesis.Alone, and not at the top of her game.

On top of that, she, James, and Winn still weren't quite on good terms, so it was just her and J'onn in her headset. 

And yet, she arrived on scene to find James suited up and Winn in the van at his monitors, waiting.  When she reached them, they were both at the ready, eyes trained on her and prepared to follow her lead.Like they were a team again.That was enough to make her cry — Later though. _Now_ they needed to focus on getting Livewire to stop. At least for a while. 

They still weren’t ready for the fight Livewire had waiting for them.They caught her off guard, sure, but she was overpowering them.Still, Kara should have known how much stronger Livewire would be. She should have known that this was outside Guardian's particular skill set.She had to admit, he was good at the vigilante thing.And he could stop a heist almost as well as she could, but those were _humans_ making _human_ choices.This was Livewire.And even though he was trying, his fighting still wasn't enough. James kept deflecting as much electricity as he could. Kara tried to keep her eyes peeled for any sources of water, but Livewire had gotten herself a good hideout. 

And then, out of nowhere, like a godsend, with all the drama afforded to someone who literally punched a hole in the wall for his grand entrance, Mon-el stormed in seething. 

“Guardian, what part of ‘ _Don’t start without me’_ did you _not_ understand?”James only grunted in response as he fought off another bout of electricity.Mon-el was holding back a grin.

Their exchange threw Kara off.Since when were they _friends_?And were they — working _together_?She saved the thought.That was not the issue to deal with when Livewire was ready and wasn’t waiting for a fair match.

Mon-el was ready to throw himself into the fight, when he noticed they weren’t alone.

“Supergirl?”He seemed in shock, but moved beside her ready to fight.

“Give her everything you got.”It was all the push he needed to focus back on the target.

“Come on, Supergirl.What happened to just us girls?Getting the boys to fight for you is hardly fair.”Leslie sounded so amused.Kara was trying to find some way to tone back Livewire’s attacks, once and for all. But still, there was nothing.

“It isn’t fair for you to be hurting innocent people either, Livewire.I’ll do what I have to do to stop you.”

She didn’t find any easy way out, so she opted for sheer brute force.Which was doubled now that Mon-el was back by her side.And James was doing everything he could, distracting Livewire enough that she couldn’t do too much damage to any one individual enough to knock them out.

Things were looking their bleakest when she landed a cheap shot against James, knocking him back to the other side of the building.While he was getting back to his feet, and Kara was distracted for a moment, she sent her strongest blast at Kara.By the time Kara knew what was happening, Mon-el had knocked her out of the way.

He took concentrated electricity straight to the heart, and Kara felt hers stop.But when the jolt was gone, he was still standing, and Livewire was staring, confused, at him.

Energy floated around Mon-el and he glanced gently at the sparks around him.Kara heard a buzzing growing louder and louder, like a disposable camera after the flash.Then, with more force than she’d ever seen possible Mon-el struck Livewire, knocking her back into the wall.She sat still, for a moment, and Kara was convinced she was out cold. 

Leslie had a little strength left in her, and in a moment, she had dematerialized and retreated into a light fixture above her, buried deep back into the grid.

“Winn,” James said, “Tell me what you’re seeing.”

Kara could hear him through the earpiece.

“I don’t think she’ll be back soon.Her signal is weak.I think she’s given up for now.”

“She’s gone,” James declared to the group.

J’onn was in her earpiece this time, keeping the DEO in sync with their team.“ _She’ll recover soon enough.You’ll get her next time_.”

“And when she does, we’ll be ready.”Kara let her posture go just a bit and tried to relax. 

Then she remembered the guys and went to check on them.

“Winn, how are his vitals?” she asked, glancing over to James.

_“He took a nasty hit to the shoulder, but his suit took most of it.”_

“Nothing I can’t handle,” James gritted out.

She turned back to Mon-el.“You okay?”

Mon-el did a once over of himself, double checking that his suit wasn’t torn and he wasn’t missing any life threatening injuries.

“I think I’m fine.”

“You took lightning to the chest Mon-el.I don’t think you’re _fine._ ”

“ _Kara, remember the power drains?After he landed?_ ” came Winn’s voice.

“Of course,” she mumbled. “Mon-el can repair _and_ supercharge with electrical energy.”

“New superpower?” Mon-el looked at her hopefully.

“Old superpower we didn’t _know_ was a superpower.” He laughed.It was good to hear that again.Directed at her.Even better.

“That’s good.”

She just nodded.And as the three of them caught their breath, it all sunk in.

This was their third time fighting together.And they’d done a pretty spectacular job of it, considering it was Livewire — or one of the pseudo-Livewire soldiers - each time, and Kara didn’t know if she could’ve fought without them.And even though they weren’t exactly friends right now, they’d all shown up to help her.And that —well, she could feel those tears from before threatening to come back if she thought too hard about it.

She turned her gaze to both James and Mon-el, and managed a smile.

“You two were real heroes today.I couldn’t — well, I mean — I’m really glad you were here.” 

“What are friends for?” James said.That was what did it.She looked between the guys, and her eyes stuck on Mon-el.She could feel her emotions rising. _Were they even friends anymore?_ She shut her watery eyes off as best she could, but it didn’t stop the look of concern on Mon-el’s face.

“Hey hey,” Mon-el said, stepping closer to her and reaching around to hug her.“It’s okay.You’re okay.”She still felt misty eyed, but the threat of tears was receding.“You don’t need to upset yourself.We’re here and we will always be here.”

“He’s right, Kara,” James said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She swallowed down whatever thoughts she had to say, about friends and the whole being there thing (especially when they could easily die and not _be there_ ).That was for a _real_ conversation to be had some other time.Kara nodded and pulled herself out of Mon-el’s arms.

“You’re right.Let’s get back to base and get you two patched up, okay?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next on WOPIC:  
> "She didn’t need to look through the door to know who was waiting on the other side. She could hear his heartbeat well enough."
> 
> \--------
> 
> How about that episode, eh? I'm still not over any of it yet. 
> 
> Honestly, I'm grateful to Krypton and back for all the support and the comments. 
> 
> I've got one more chapter planned, plus a companion piece, so I'd love your feedback to help me get through writing the rest! Every time one of you commented, I sat down to start writing more, and I'm so excited about that.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara was bundled up and more than ready for a relaxed night with her pizza and a movie, when she heard a knock at the door.She didn’t need to look through the door to know who was waiting on the other side.She could hear his heartbeat well enough.

“Mon-el,” she said with a smile, as she opened the door.“What’s up?”

“You looked like you had a lot of your mind today and, uh, we never had that talk you wanted.I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

She gave him a halfhearted smile and pulled the door open wide.

“I was just reheating some pizza.I needed a movie night to wind down from today.Would you … like to join me?”

“Sure.”She almost didn’t catch the fall in his face when she was turning around, a little grimace telling her maybe he wasn’t here to hang out.Which got her nervous.

She heated the pizza and settled into the couch, food and remote on the table in front of her.She gestured for him to sit and offered him the blanket they’d shared months ago, back before they were partners.Back when they were maybe friends.Now, she wasn’t so sure what the hell they were at all.When he was settled and eyeing her cautiously, she took a deep breath.

“So, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about some stuff.And I — haven’t exactly known how to go about it, so I have been trying not to.”

“Which is why you were avoiding me?”

“Yes.Mostly.But we can talk about that later. First, I needed to apologize, because you were honest with me and you listened to me and all I did was shut you out.And I never should have done that.”

He nodded and she took it as a prompt to move forward.It felt like forgiveness and strength and breathing all at once.

“I thought —I thought I needed space and that _you_ needed space and I didn’t know how to _give_ you space and still be your friend.And so, it was easier to ignore everything else — to focus on work or being Supergirl — than it was to try and fix this.And then you and Eve started dating, and —”

“Eve and I aren’t dating.”He said it so fast, she wasn’t sure if he was even aware he said it.

“But you’ve been going on lunch dates for over a month —”

“The _first_ one was a date.And after, she told me, well — we’re friends.I don’t have many friends, so we get lunch together and talk.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.I interrupted you —”

“No.No.It’s fine.I just — What I meant is, the idea of you two together, it was — difficult to deal with.So I thought I’d be okay if I just pretended it wasn’t happening and kept my distance.But I see now that it hurt more than it helped.”

“Yeah, that was not fun.”

“No.It wasn’t.And I missed you.Like, a lot.And you and I,”She smiled brightly, “we’re _really_ different.And you’re so much better about being open with what you’re thinking, or feeling, and you don’t need to wait to say something until you figure it out.But I —it’s hard for me to say what I want or how I’m feeling.”

“Just try.”

“I’m getting there,” she said, exasperated, shoving his shoulder, just enough to make him wobble backwards into the cushion behind him.She pulled her glasses off and leaned to rest them on the table.

“I want to keep working with you, because I like being around you.And I _really_ hate not being around you.And you’re my partner.And that means more than any friendship ever could.And I know you’re there to help, and that you care, and I’m gonna figure out how to get used to that.Because we make a really great pair.And I don’t want to lose you like this again.”

She barely noticed the way her hands laid outstretched between them, until she felt him grasp them.Then he looked at her with the softest smile. 

“I can handle that.”

“Good.”She felt flushed and emotionally drained, but her heart was rushing a mile a minute.And there were still things she had to say.She hadn’t said how she felt yet.Not really.But this was a big step.Bigger than she thought she would have been able to get through tonight.It was a brilliant and glorious victory on its own, to finally get it out.

She had many things to say.Questions to ask.A heart to bare.But this wasn’t the time.Even though, maybe, it was the place.But it wasn’t the night.Not when they were just back to talking.She didn’t need to set off an emotional bomb in her living room when they were still on fragile ground.So she decided she’d save it for later.

“So does that mean you’re going to come back to training?” Mon-el asked.

“Of course,” Kara said.Then a thought struck her, a thought that had haunted her when she wasn’t in a place to ask. “Are you and Guardian _working_ together?”

He leaned back and his brows furrowed, and she saw the hint of his own crinkle.She held her breath, wondering why he didn’t want to tell her.He relaxed and took a deep inhale.

“See, I figured — if you weren’t willing to work with me, it didn’t mean I couldn’t still be a hero.Besides, James is human, and I know you don’t like him protecting the city, but he’s going to do it anyway, so I thought—”He paused to compose his thoughts, scratching his chin.“I thought, if I couldn’t help _you_ , I could at least make sure your friend didn’t die.And you’ve been so busy trying to balance your life outside of being a superhero that I didn’t want to distract you from what makes you happy.So I started working with him and, well, we’re no Supergirl, but we do what we can.”He had a hint of a smile, and she felt so proud of him.

“And that’s why I haven’t been called in as much?”

“J’onn tries not to call you in if we think we can handle it.”She supposed it made sense.

“Look at you, keeping the world spinning without me.”She meant it to sound better — proud — but it came out sad, and he was watching her like she would explode if he took a wrong step.As it was, she felt a little like she was going to burst. 

“The way I see it, it’s the only way to help _you_ keep it spinning.You can’t protect everyone all the time and still be okay yourself.You can take time to breathe.”

“So you’ve been fighting in my place so I can?Why?”

“If the more I fight, the easier it is for you to breathe, then I will gladly fight until _my_ lungs give out.”

“You don’t have to do that for me.”She was shaking her head and she couldn’t look at him.She looked at the table, their hands intertwined between them, anywhere but at him.

“I want to.”He head snapped up.

He was going to say something, but she watched the words die when he glanced at her eyes.She, meanwhile, was heart-struck and a little lost.And he was looking at her like he had so many times before, but she hadn’t known what to do about it.How to take it.At first she thought it was pity.But maybe it was something she was hoping for.Something she was avoiding.Something that scared her.

“Kara, did I say something wrong?”

“No,” she whispered.

“But you’re eyes, they’re —”

“I know.”

Before she could talk herself out of it, she summoned up all the courage she had left in her for the night.All the vulnerability and all the honesty she could spare.

She pressed her lips to his and kissed him with all she had left.And right now, there was only so much she could manage.Only so much she could say — could show — without falling apart or putting her walls back up.So she settled for this.Her and Mon-el, figuring things out.In a moment when words couldn’t get it the way.When she couldn’t misspeak.When her intentions, and his, were on the table.And they could talk about it later, when she had more courage to spare.But the way he reached for her to keep her close, his hand in her hair, helped her hold on to it. 

He leaned back for a moment and looked at her with a mixture of adoration and confusion.And for a moment, she was self conscious and guarded again.But she caught a hint of a smile, and that all slipped back away.So she pulled him back to her and kissed him again.Because, really, there was no reason not to anymore. 

Nothing that held a candle to the reasons she should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask for a happy ending and happy ye shall find. 
> 
> I hope you liked this story as much as I loved writing it! I've never been so excited to write for a fandom as I am with this ship.  
> And this isn't the end! Not really. I'll be working on a companion piece, Mon-el's side, with a lot of material that isn't covered here and his perspective. So pretty pretty please keep your eyes peeled for it. (I've already made this into a series, so if you want to subscribe, you'll know immediately.) I've got it outlines and part of the first chapter written, but please let me know what you're hoping to see from his side. 
> 
> I've got a final this week and next, so they might not be out as fast, but I'll do my best!  
> Plus, I've got - no joke - 13 different stories lines up that I am actively working on, so I'm here to stay, but this companion piece is priority #1
> 
> Thank you times a million to everyone who has been commenting. It means so much to me. This support has really motivated me, not just in my writing, but in life in general and I am so grateful for it!


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